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I manage a shop that rents costumes, and I found two costume headdresses in our rental inventory. I pulled them and finally convinced the powers that be that we cannot rent these. Is there a respectful way to destroy these headdresses?

Hey! Thanks for you support! First, know there is a team of people behind you who are working on this same issue. We’ve got your back and together we can make a difference! As strongly as I can say this, ‘There is no circumstance where dressing up like someone from…
Answered by Auntie Manda
Topics: Activism, Culture and Language, Identity, Intolerance

Hi auntie, I was gifted a Native American headdress from my cousin who was adopted out of a Native American tribe. Is it ok for me to keep it?

By asking the question, it seems like you may have some reservations about having it being in your possession. Headdress’ are considered sacred items and have to be earned in order to be worn. We know that there has been great and damaging misrepresentation of the headdress by Hollywood and…
Answered by Auntie Manda
Topics: Education, Identity, Intolerance, Non-Native Allies

Hi Auntie. A family member recently went to Wyoming and took a picture of a sign named "Vision Quest Motel". My family is in an argument about whether the sign is racist or not. I don’t know what to think. Is it racist?

This is a great question and I appreciate you asking it. It shows that you respect and appreciate Native culture. Being from the Southwest (Zuni Pueblo, NM), I often saw Native designs displayed in various ways by Native and non-Native people. As we move forward as a society, we are…
Answered by Auntie Manda
Topics: Activism, Education, Identity, Intolerance, Non-Native Allies

Your male friend tells you that he had an unwanted sexual experience when he was younger with someone he looked up to. He questions if it was sexual assault because he was sexually aroused during the interaction. what do you do?

Some possible options (depending on your comfort and his openness to further discussion) include: Offer encouragement for his willingness to consider a challenging question. Listen neutrally. Avoid defining what happened for him. Explore whether he feels there was a power imbalance in the relationship. Who has the power? Offer to…
Answered by Cousin Lael
Topics: Identity, Intolerance, Mental Health

I grew up in an urban city in Oklahoma. I want to move back to my ancestral lands, but I’m scared of not being accepted by my relations back home. How do I confront this fear?

Thanks for writing in. I find your journey incredibly brave and exciting! It seems like you have a strong idea or expectation of what will happen if you move home. Take time to think about what is it exactly that you want. What are you hoping to gain from moving…
Answered by Auntie Manda
Topics: Culture and Language, Identity, Intolerance, Mental Health, Non-Native Allies, Spirituality
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