Hey Victoria! Sounds like you are in a bit of a pickle and need some help, so I’m glad you wrote in.
First off, I am and sorry about grandma catching you having sex. You can rest assured that you and your boyfriend are not the only people to have a grandparent walk in on you during sex.
So where do you go from here… it might be good to start with talking to the boy you like about his feelings and also take some time to verbalize your own feelings. And before we get to how to talk to your grandma, let’s start with your parents.
Here are some benefits of talking to your parents about sex:
- You have questions, they have experience . So when you have questions about sex, they can either help you, or help you find answers, especially when it comes to your health.
- Worst Case Scenario, more than likely your worst-case scenario won’t happen, but it’s good to be prepared. And they will be impressed with your thoughtful response.
- Starting the conversation. You can start by talking to them about your hypothetical friend by saying something like: There’s this girl at school who told her parents she was having sex and they took her to the clinic to get checked and put on her birth control.
- Know your stuff . To show them you know your stuff check out some quizzes and games to up your game.
- Parents Aren’t having it? When you feel your parents out about your friend and they fly completely off the rails, then maybe they’re not ready to have this conversation with you….now. This doesn’t necessarily mean forever. Maybe they just had a bad day. Feel them out on another day.
- Just in case if you think in the rare case that your safety might come into question, rethink telling your parents and talk to another trusted adult. People like your school nurse, counselor, or teacher are good people to talk to.
Now onto talking to your grandma…I’m not sure about the relationship you have with her, but if you’re considering talking to her, then I’m assuming maybe it’s pretty open. Knowing my grandma’s and other people’s grandmas, I’m not sure how-in detail you need to get, but that’s your call. I think you could probably get away with telling her you have started to see so-and-so because you really care about each other and enjoy each others company. Giving her examples of some of the responsible choices he’s made can’t hurt either. If your man wants to win bonus points with her, ask him to properly introduce himself. If he wants to go above and beyond, have him bring her flowers to apologize for their last meeting. I’m sure your grandma will appreciate this.
You can find more tips for talking to your parents here.
Best of luck having the talk with your parents. Kuddos to you for talking a very mature step to having a more healthy life all the way around.
Good luck!
Auntie Manda
