Hey auntie. I’m 14 and I just found out I’m pregnant. I went to get a HIV test, it came up negative for HIV, but they said I was pregnant. I don’t know how to tell my parents. I’m 14 and in 8th grade. I don’t think they will take it well. Help please.
First off, I’m proud of you for going to get an HIV test and taking a step towards taking care of yourself.
Secondly, I’m proud of you for writing in. Finding out your pregnant, especially at such a young age has got to be scary and overwhelming. You’re doing the right thing by looking for help and support.There’s no reason you should go through this alone. So now what?
To break this down, you’re going to need to do a few things:
Get support – Planned Parenthood health center, have specially trained staff who can talk with you about all of your options. Their National Hotline is 1-800-230-PLAN (7526) and they are available 24 hours a day. It might be best to talk with a professional before you talk with your parents. They can give you tips for how to do that and what your options are.
Talk with your parents. You’re right in knowing that you’re going to have to talk to your parents, and the sooner the better. Here are some tips for how to do this.
- Get ready – by doing a little research on how to talk to your parents and calling hotlines like PP, you’ll feel better prepared about having the talk with your parents.
- Pick a location –think of a neutral, semi-public place to talk to your parents. Think coffee in the park, or a place where you won’t get easily distracted or interrupted.
- Tell them – Sometimes parents are shocked or angry, and sometimes they’re understanding. There is really no way to know how your parents will feel unless you talk with them about it. Think through exactly what you want to say to them and rehearse it. Practicing with a friend, or trusted adult can be helpful in thinking through what you want to say. You can say something like…“Mom, Dad, I’m feeling scared about telling you this, but it’s important to me to be honest with you. I just found out I’m pregnant. I know you might be disappointed in me, but I could really use your support now. I trust you both and I need your help in deciding what do next.”
If your parents do get upset, they may just need some time to calm down. Even though it probably feels scary, it’s important you talk with them. They can go over your options with you, and make sure you get proper medical care.
Think through your Options: If you’re pregnant, you have three options: abortion, adoption, and parenting. Only you can decide what to do, but it can be helpful to talk about it with someone you trust to figure out how you’ll want to move forward. Take time to think through your options, but the sooner you decide the more options you’ll have.
Call and make an appointment with your health center– however you decide to move forwards, while you’re deciding you’ll want to take good care of yourself and get prenatal care from a doctor or nurse.
If you think you might have the baby, talk with a doctor about prenatal care so they can make sure that you’re healthy and the pregnancy is normal.
If you’re considering abortion, make an appointment at a health center as soon as you can. Abortion is very safe, but there are more risks the longer you wait.
Contact your local Planned Parenthood health center to discuss your options. Just go to their website and type in your zip code to find the closest center near you, or call 1-800-230-PLAN.
Lastly, it’s crucial that you get caring and guidance from those around you, even if you don’t receive it from your parents. Reach out to other family members who can help you and your parents if you need to.
You’re in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Auntie Manda
