My name is Randy T George. I’m 27, full blooded Native. I’m from the Rockcreek Nation, affiliated with the Yakama Nation. I would consider myself Pansexual/Bisexual. I’ve always known I was very different from a young age. But I had no clue that how I was born would have such a big impact on my life. Growing up on the Yakama reservation practically all my life was and continues to be a life changing experience… everyday. I’ve been raised by my grandma since a baby. My grandma did the best she could and beyond to make sure I did my best in school. I never really did anything “bad” till later on in high school.
My life I think really took a turn when I met my cousin Nikki, who also happens to be going through transitions (Male to Female). Growing up thinking I was going through this all by myself was scary. I did my best to “fit in” with what was “normal” at the moment. I had my first encounter with another LGBTQ person when I met my best friend Elijah J. who happened to be a drag queen and a performer. I also had my other cousin Luis T, and down the road I met my other best friend Simon T, and Josh P.
These 5 people I consider my family. We have seen each other at our best and worst. We’ve all struggled with coming out, and we’ve all experienced bullying. We’ve all had our talks about “ending life” and we all had to have each other’s back. We had to be there for each other. We at that moment felt like we could all talk better with each other rather than with our own families. They didn’t and wouldn’t understand these feelings, these changes we were going through. It was hard, we felt alone, but when we got together, we were unstoppable and everything was OK. We had each other. No one could touch us. These are my besties.
During 9th grade I definitely knew I was not like other boys, and so did other boys. That was when I got side comments like “Fag, homo, etc.” I didn’t like it and hurt, because I know for a fact that I didn’t ask to be born this way. My comeback for those comments was “making fun of me is like making fun of someone with a big nose or ears, they didn’t ask for that, they were just born like that.” I started acting out and started taking it out by staying out late and doing things I’m not suppose to. I had no healthy outlet at that time…so I thought.
From 10th grade to 11th grade I went to boarding school in Oregon at an all Native American school. I fully came out then and accepted that I was different. I went through a depression stage then. I was put on depression pills because I was writing dark poems, expressing myself on how I wanted to just die. Not really, just how I felt, and then the school found my notebook and thought I was suicidal…I had a lot of dark poems. Writing the poems helped because I was feeling alone, feeling ashamed, feeling like I don’t belong, why was I like this? Two years passed and I learned so much about myself. I met so many friends at boarding school, from far and wide. People that have helped me on this journey of mine, Sam F., Marlena J., and Erlinda…these three main girls helped during my life process. I have so much love for these ladies. I truly believe that anyone that comes across me or in my life was put in my life for a reason. Good or bad, I’m either going to learn something from you, or I’ll teach you something. I’ve had my bad experiences with my sexuality, but no regrets. Everything I have encountered in my life I’m super grateful for.
Growing up, media and TV taught me that life was about a male and female, who get married, have kids, and that’s life. I tried to do that. I had a son at 20 and he lives with his mom and a very special friend.
I honestly think if it wasn’t for my son, I really don’t know where I would be right now, lost, or dead. My son has brought so much more to fight for, he is my everything. I know I’m super grateful for my life, and everything and everybody the creator has brought into my life.
Nowadays, I’m truly in love with myself. I have plenty of good and bad memories when it comes to my life. I’ve let myself talk just ugly to myself, I’ve grown from that, I’m more positive in life. I got a great boyfriend, he is also Native American and enrolled Yakama. He is a big part of my life as of right now. His name is Kris S. I’m happy with him, and happy about the places we’ll be going in the future.
My response to anyone going through a rough time….please just remember, even when you think no one cares, someone does, things will ALWAYS get better! OK? Nothing is wrong with you, you were made perfectly fine. Please just hold on, fight, fight, fight. FIGHT! Take care, because I CARE!
Truly yours,
Randy T George
Luxatawaiit (One Love)
